IN THIS ISSUE:
Start making yer plans now, me buckos! Because the way the calendar lays out, there's a whole weekend of Talk Like a Pirate nonsense coming this year.
As some of you have pointed out to us, Sept. 19 this year falls on a Sunday. And ye've been askin' us, "Can't we change the date so that it falls on a Friday or a Saturday, so that we can have a party?"
Well, we have to say, we're a little disappointed in those makin' that complaint. It shows a frightening lack of the ingenuity and resourcefulness so necessary to those of a piratical bent. Good heavens, lads and lasses! Since when do you need to rely on a calendar, or even on the words of Ol' Chumbucket and Cap'n Slappy, for permission to have a party?
The way the calendar lays out this year is a GOOD thing. Celebrate all weekend! It'll begin with pirate talk all day at work on Friday Sept. 17. Then things will get under way with a warmup pirate party that evening, followed by a big Talk Like a Pirate Day Eve party on Sept. 18 (We'll probably be at Riley's again this year.) And, come midnight, it'll be the 19th and Talk Like a Pirate Day will be here! And we'll celebrate in an approrpriate fashion until the wee hours (and the hours get pretty durn wee around here, matey!) and have all of Sunday afternoon to recover while watching football and nursing hangovers.
And for those afraid that celebratin' Talk Like a Pirate Day on Sunday might be a bit sacreligious, don't worry. Cap'n Slappy and I have given it a good lot of thinkin' and we'll be offering advice in the next few issues of The Poopdeck on how to make the Lord's Day and Pirate Day one and the same. You'll be proud of us.
Coming this summer, look for "Well Blow Me Down: A Guy's Guide to Talking Like a Pirate," written by none other than Cap'n Slappy and yours truly. This is the publishing event you've all been waiting for (trust us, it really is,) a compendium of piraticalo lingo and lore that will help you polish your pirate patois while having a good laugh. It's the indespensible volume for making the most out of International Talk Like a Pirate Day.
It'll be short and funny – "Moby Dick" this ain't, although there is a test at the end (but we're pirates, so cheating is not only allowed, it's encouraged!) There's a long vocabulary section, tips on using pirate lingo in your every day life, and lots more. And all done with that pirate panache that you've come to expect from Cap'n Slappy and meself.
"Well Blow Me Down: The Guys' Guide to Talking like a Pirate," will be available by mid-summer on our Web site and in discerning book emporiums. Our goal is to keep the price low and the laughs high. We're planning to release it at an event this summer in Seattle, in conjunction with that city's SeaFair extravaganza.
We'll have more details as they develop.
Just for the fun of it, we're putting a new poll on the Web site starting today. Someone asked Cap'n Slappy what his favorite brand of rum is (Answer: the one that's in front of him, of course) and one thing led to another and now we're running one of our polls on what YOUR favorite brand of rum is. I have no idea what we're likely to do with this information - possibly present a nice certificate, suitable for framing, to the manufacturer in hopes that in gratitude the company will send us a couple of cases of the stuff. So please, definitely take part in this survey. Padding the numbers will help sway the benificence of the distiller, we hope.
THE WORD IS SPREADING!
We were as excited as we could be when we heard from a friend who had been watching "Hollywood Squares" last week. It seems Frankie Muniz (star of "Malcolm in the Middle") was asked, "What holiday is celebrated every Sept. 19?" Young Frankie didn't know so he bluffed. But the contestant is apparently smart and savvy and totally superior, because he is reported to have said, "That's not it. Sept. 19 is Talk Like a Pirate Day!"
We were bursting with pride, as you can imagine, and fired off an e-mail to the writers of Hollywood Squares. That's how we found out a) the entire staff of the show had celebrated the day, freaking out producer Henry Winkler (Yes! We helped freak out the Fonz!) and b) this is the last season for Hollywood Squares, which won't be back in the fall.
Imagine our chagrin. Can't you just hear a contestant saying, "I'll take Cap'n Slappy for the win?"
COME JOIN US
Cap'n Slappy, The Official Lusty Pirate Wench and I will be practicin' our celebration skills next month at the Drift Inn in Yachats, Oregon, on April 17. We'll be catching a performance of one of our local pirate bands, Cap'n Bogg and Salty, from Portland. The band was originally scheduled to play there as part of Yachats (that's pronounced ya-hots, equal stress on both syllables) at what was supposed to be the small resort town's first maritme festival, with a pirate theme no less. Turns out the festival, which was planned as a fund-raiser for the local school district, didn't come together, because everyone got busy and then the garden needed planting and, well you know how it is. Seems the organizer was actually trying to get an appearance by the swashbuckling stars of Pirates of the Caribbean. I told her, "We're not Johnny Depp or Orlando Bloom, but if it's for the schools, Cap'n Slappy and I will be there!"
So the band is still booked, and at least three of Team Pirates' four members (we like to call ourselves Team Pirate, it's a lot better than what some other people call us) are gonna be on hand. We haven't heard from the Web Wench yet whether she's makin' an appearance as well. So if you're within a day's driving distance of Oregon's Central Coast, come on out April 17 and join us at the Drift Inn. If nothin' else, it'll be a great way to celebrate having survived another broadside by the IRS. Now, THOSE fellas be some real pirates.
The show is for those 21 and older.
SPEAKING OF ENTERTAINERS
Well, we've finally gotten Cap'n Slappy back from the clutches of another pirate band. Our very own cap'n was appearing as the Pirate King in the local theater's production of "The Pirates of Penzance," and did an outstanding job. He sings! He dances! He makes funny faces! He gets to wear a brace of pistols!
The Albany Civic Theater production played to full houses every night. There was nary a ticket left to be had. A terrific show and a great Pirate King!! A time was had by all.
Although it almost killed him, but that's a different story.
AND NOW, THE COMMERCIAL
Just a reminder that all your casual sportswear needs, and several other needs as well (but no, not THOSE needs) can be met by clicking on the Pirate Booty link on our Web page. We'll be preparing a new spring line of stylish T-shirts, sweatshirts, and other goodies, so this is what ya might call yer last chance to pick up on the "classic" TLAPDay design.
And if things go right, we'll soon be offering a wider array of products, as we find ourselves sucked deeper and deeper into the maw of rampant commercialism. But that's our problem. You just enjoy the T-shirts.
AND NOW - A WORD FROM THE WEB WENCH
The lads aboard the Good Ship PEAK, our Internet provider, have been chippin' away at the problem that causes some Poopdeck subscribers to receive multiple copies o' the newsletter. We don't know if they've got it fixed, and the only way t'find out is to send out another issue an' hope fer the best. IF YOU RECEIVE MORE THAN ONE COPY, please forward ONE of them - with its complete Internet headers intact - to:
If ye don't know what a "complete Internet header" is, then don't bother. We've got the lads watchin' the server as we send out this edition, so perhaps they can figger it out this time.
-- Ol' Chumbucket, ed.
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