Inside this issue
I hear you out there.
“Where has The Poopdeck been? And what’s with The Curacao Caper on the blog? You haven’t posted a new installment in months! What are you guys up to, anyway? Lazy or what?”
Well, a little lazy. But that hasn’t been the problem.. Here’s what we’ve been up to –
Ol’ Chumbucket and his family are moving. That’s right, after working for more than a year to sell our house, we’re finally just days away from the start of a new adventure. The Baurs are moving to St. Croix in the U.S. Virgin Islands. (Any pirates out there on the island? Drop us an e-mail – in a bottle of course – we’d love to get together and make the pirate rounds with ya!)
It’s like this – we’ve lived in Oregon for almost 30 years and it’s an awfully nice place, but it’s time for a change. We’re tired of being cold and wet all the time. And for the couple of months it’s not actually cold and wet, the pollen is so thick (we live in the grass seed capitol of the world) it’s hard to breathe. One day Mad Sally looked out the window at the frozen rain coming down in the 50 mile an hour wind and said, “Why do we live here?” So we’re taking the whole clan, lock, stock and mother in law, and heading for a part of the world where there’s a more logical connection to pirates.
Timing, in life as in comedy, is everything. The “For Sale” sign went up right when the housing market went in the toilet. For the last year we kept the house scrupulously clean so we could show it to potential buyers. Finally it sold and we were in escrow. For two months we’ve been packing (and throwing away stuff like mad, but not nearly enough, apparently) and getting everything in order to make the move. Then the house sold and we moved out, squatting in Cap’n Slappy’s home for the last two weeks (he’s on vacation – we’re “house sitting.”) Now we have just two days to go. We’re not ready, but we’re going.
It’s been hectic, to say the least. And I’ve neglected you, the reader. My apologies.
No, Cap’n Slappy is not coming with us. He’s originally from Seattle and he actually LIKES being cold and wet. So he’s staying here in Oregon, at least for now. We’ll still do appearances together, although not as many, what with the huge distance between us. (We’re in the middle of negotiating something pretty cool for this Sept. 19, but no details yet.) We’ll still write together. We’re still The Pirate Guys. We’ll just be doing it a little differently.
Several people have asked us, “Are you crazy?” Hell, WE’VE asked ourselves that. And the answer of course is yes. It’s an adventure, and a certain amount of uncertainty is part of the deal. But we look at it this way. You never really know if you can fly if you don’t throw yourself off a cliff from time to time. So here we are, perched on the edge of the cliff, preparing to jump off into the void.
We’ve set up a blog at blogspot.com where we’ll post tales of the transition from the drizzly Pacific Northwest to the sun splashed Caribbean. The url is OnOurIsland.blogspot.com, and I’ll be trying to post it simultaneously on our Myspace page (myspace.com/pirateguys.) And the Web Wench will link to it from talklikeapirate.com. At least at first I expect Internet availability to be kind of spotty, so I don’t know exactly how often we’ll be able to post. But we’ll do the best we can.
“The Curacao Caper” will continue. In fact, the next post is written and just about ready to go. Only thing is, it’s on the computer that’s currently in storage and I won’t have access to for a couple of weeks. Damn and blast! Bad planning, that.
My plane takes off from Portland International Airport at 10 p.m. Sunday. I land on St. Croix Monday afternoon with our three daughters – Alex, Kate and Millie – plus the cat (Roger, who’s going to be one very pissed off feline when this is done.) Tori (Mad Sally to her pirate friends) follows the next day with our son Max and her mother, Janet, who refuses to be left behind.
And the adventure begins.
Those of you who saw our family on the “reality” TV show “Wife Swap” a couple of years ago (or last week in the UK) may be saying, “Hey, what about the dog? How’s the dog getting to the island?”
Sadly, Shiloh died last Sunday. Cancer. We knew it was coming. Three months ago the vet gave her two months to live, so we got a bonus month out of her.
But it was costing her, and last weekend she pretty much collapsed. Try as she might, she couldn’t get to her feet. The pain was too much, but she kept trying. We gave her enough of her pain meds that we could carry her down the stairs to the car, where we drove her to the vet. As Tori (Mad Sally) wrapped her arms around Shiloh the vet gave the dog an injection. Shiloh lifted her head, licked Tori on the face a couple of times, then lowered her head, closed her eyes, and was gone.
The thing I like about dogs is this: Dogs always give you their best. I’ve just never known a dog to “dog it.” And Shiloh sure did. No matter how bad it was at the end, when she had no strength and so much pain, she never stopped trying to give what she had.
Just thought I should mention in the name of equal time that, for those of you who prefer the Facebook to the Myspace, look up Cap’n Slappy next time you’re on your favored social networking site. Slappy started the page a month ago.
You can find him up at www.facebook.com (but you have to be a FaceBook member t'see the page.
But also remember, neither of us spends a whole lot of time on those sites. The best way to keep in touch with us and find out what’s going on piratewise is – and always will be – our “real” Web site (as the Web Wench might say,) www.talklikeapirate.com.
Just a reminder that our new book, The Pirate Life: Unleashing Your Inner Buccaneer, will be out soon. Citadel, a division of Kensington Books, releases it Aug. 26, just in time for this year’s celebration of International Talk Like a Pirate Day on Sept. 19.
The book is 200-plus pages of piratey prattle in which we show you how to find your inner pirate and let him out to play – in business, on a date, while dieting or exercising or raising kids and a lot more.
There's a test to find out if you're a Republican, Democrat or Pirate. There are also tests to help you determine if you're ready to date, or if your crazy. And lots more, including our solution to the whole "pirates versus ninjas" debate. You won't want to miss out.
Finally, yes, that was me you may have seen last week on "Jeopardy!" It was fun, alothough it would have been a LOT more fun if I'd been able to come up with "Who is Woody Allen?" Quite an experience that I'll write more about sometime - after the show sends me my (not very big) check, because I think I signed something limiting what I can say and I want to make sure I get the booty before spilling the beans.
My reports may continue to be a bit spotty for the next few weeks as we get the lay of the land on our new island home. In the meantime, thanks for spreadin’ the word – and the word is “Aarrr!”
-- Ol' Chumbucket, ed.
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