Find yer inner pirate
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The Official Talk Like a Pirate Personality Inventory (TOTLAPPI)
Version 2.0 - completely revised for 2007!
Arrrr! So, thar ye be, sittin' all a-lonesome on the poop deck. Comely lasses (or lads) don't notice ye, mates smite ye with thar belayin' pins ... not even a parrot to call ye "Bob." What's a pirate to do? Are ye the talk o' th'dock? Cock o' th'walk? Do the mates want to be like ye and the beauties want to be with ye - or vicey-versey? Well, thar, me Bucko, this simple little quiz will tell ye - and everyone else - just what kind o' Pirate ye be.
*Note. School Psychologists, Social Workers and Clinicians should be wary of using the TOTLAPPI when qualifying students for IDEA services, DSM IV identifications (under any axis) or as a part of any professional assessment. Medical professionals are hereby cautioned not to use the TOTLAPPI as a tool to determine appropriate medications and/or dosage. Lawyers are hereby notified that the results of the TOTLAPPI are not admissible in most state and federal courts with the notable exceptions of The Bahamas, French New Guinea, Madagascar and Wyoming. Amnesty International has requested a moratorium on the TOTLAPPI in Death Penalty Cases until the American College of Psychiatry and the British Psychological Association can complete a twelve-year longitudinal study into the TOTLAPPI's efficacy rate and cultural bias. This tool was designed for use solely by Pirate Captains and Web Surfers. Please do not attempt this in any professional setting.
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John Baur, 2003
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